Oh hi there, nerds and freaks and geeks. You probably know me as Bill Nye's 2nd cousin or the real Carlton Banks, but for those of you who don't know me at all, my pseudonym is Waverly Spades. Lately, I've been on summer break because nerds need breaks too. I got a job, went to camp, watched a lot of cartoons and catfish. It's been real. Free my nigga, summer. Now, back to the review. Over this summer, I've been hearing about this girl who goes by "Chrissy Vasquez." She's been randomly showing up on my timeline through retweets and people posting her stuff. I click on her profile and there's this little cartoon twiticon and link to her mixtape. I'm strangely attracted because like, lightskin bitches and pokeballs... it doesn't get better than that! But seriously, there aren't many female singers/artists in Baltimore who take their craft seriously, so the album artwork alone sparked my curiosity. Let's see how this sounds.
(Interlude) For The Boys - Ever since Drake did Bria's Interlude and Ronny did Liya's Interlude, everyone thinks that an interlude is just a track you do to commemorate to someone else, but that's not really the case! It's the track usually done between tracks. I'm not going to be too much of a stickler on this stuff though. Musically, this introlude throws you off because unlike most modern pieces of music, there's background music. This is purely instrumental. That is so foreign and interesting to me. Chrissy has an amazingly warm, alto voice. The title of the track is "For The Boys," but it sounds like it's for someone specific. She seems very sex-craving, but intimate in a way that's just cute. I'm impressed.
4.7/5
Senseless - Everything about this song is so jazzy. I really feel like this is a young Billie Holiday. drug addiction and all. lol. Much like the last song, this sounds like a little letter. It's again, cute.
3.9
Sensual Money - This is a very abrupt change in pace. This short and sweet track is about a girl named Molly (an ironic reference to the drug that Trinidad Jame$ made famous, I'm presuming). "They don't call her Molly for nothing. You'll see if you just slip her something." She's the stereotypical "party girl." She's got a drug addiction to cocaine, heroine, and mollies I presume. Like most good girls gone bad, she didn't want it to happen. There are some great double entendres like "Molly shot herself down." This happens to be the most hard hitting song on the tape for me. I really like it
4.9/5
Smeared Lipstick (Prod. by Ricky Broadway) - Engineering-wise, it immediately annoys me how loud the vocals are compared to the beat at times, but at other times, it feels like a nice artistic touch. Ricky Broadway made the perfectly, eerie beat for this girl. This song is back and directed to two boys. It's an interesting ending to an EP that seems almost too short.
"He made me numb. He made me cum."
3/5
Well, for the first time in Nerd History, I'm almost at a lost of words for this body of work I just listened. to. -almost.- Where do I start? Due to the intimate nature of these songs, I can't tell if she's making herself a sex object or everything is truly personal. The first song is called "For The BOYS," but she definitely seems to be only talking to one person. Even if it is a bit seemingly out there, everything still seems classy. She almost reminds me of the Weeknd, in a sense, she can say whatever the fuck she wants, and people won't hate it. They'll always love it because of the voice and vibe of the song, but don't think I'm knocking the authenticity of this girl. I sorta want to compare her to Billie Holiday, but I feel her voice isn't grown enough for this. I could immediately hear this girl doing a song with Lorine Chia or Kilo Kish. This is a really ill, little EP. It's not too short, but it leaves you wanting more. Chrissy did this one right. I'm rooting for her.
82.5% - B
Nerd Approved
This review was brought to you by Waverly Spades, and now I'm off to stay up late another night thanks to Labor day weekend.
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